What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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