mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
