at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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