shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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