Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
