Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
