There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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