she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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