nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize