Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You pole danced in your parka.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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