yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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