I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
