Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
