drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
