your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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