He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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