Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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