She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
