just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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