I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
