i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
