Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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