weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
