i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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