Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
i think i just lost a toe
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
