And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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