come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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