I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
