1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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