Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
