Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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