I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
