i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
