and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
