And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
