the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I stole a fireplace last night.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
