you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
