they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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