You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
