Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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