im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
