forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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