You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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