And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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