I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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