why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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