I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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