I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
