we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
