you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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