"it" just moved
Where is the hickey?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Your penis caused this!
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