Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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