she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
