And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
