i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
