So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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