I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
