omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
