if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
