watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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