I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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