Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
