Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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